Ed.. get a life.. you are too old for this..

i keep on fallin'

2006-05-06T10:40:00.000-07:00

today witnessed the largest single day drop in the history of the saudi stock market. it bottomed out at a near 10% drop in what has been a sequence of severe corrections which have resulted in a loss of nearly half its peak value. now i'm not going into the in depth socio-economic reasons behind it (i do that for a living). but this is what i want to say..

there is always a chance when investing that you'll make or lose money. the more money you can probably make the more money you can probably lose. it's very simple, high risk means high returns and high losses. so for the people complaining about losing cash on the market, it's the nature of the beast, you should've know what you were getting into.

oh and to the ever important question, when is it going to come back up? well the answer to that, is that it still has a good ways to go down. i just hope the authorities will do the right thing and let it sort itself out and not interfere too heavily, quick solutions will just make things worse in the long run.

as the world turns

2006-05-05T11:38:00.000-07:00

the weapon of choice for muslims this new millennium is the "economic embargo". it started against american products (because israel was oppressing the palestinians), it then moved on to the french (because they outlawed all public displays of religion), then the japanese (for blasphemous toys) most recently it reached the danes (because one of their local newspapers published blasphemous cartoons). the recent embargo was very well organized with a monster ad campaign pushing it along.

these embargos of course only hurt local companies, normal workers in their home countries, future foreign investment and pretty much no one else. it is however a very clever way for the organizers to regain clout with the populace after they fell from favor following their recent terrorism rampage. a wise person said, control a man through his mind, a woman through her heart and people through their emotions.

now that the danes have been forgiven, i wonder who's next on the shit list? it has to be a faraway country in order to make use of xenephobia (no one flinched when indians burned down a major historical mosque), they must be much better off economically in order to capitalize on envy (witness muslims killing muslims in darfur) and they cant be arab 'cuz arabs are off limits (they've been jumping up and down about star academy yet no calls for an embargo). therefore, my prediction is that it's gonna be the chinese who are next on their list, you heard it here first!

one day the pigeon, next day the statue

2006-03-25T12:03:00.000-08:00

last week i had to attend a forex short course (cuz y'know there's no more money in equities folks.. har har). anyway, sitting on the table next to me was my former highschool chemistry teacher. back in the day he was considered really cool and smart by the kids. well how the tables have turned, he kept asking these really ridiculous questions, kept telling the rest of the guys that he didn't understand what our instructor was getting at and in fact led 3/4s of the course attendees to demand a refund (cuz they clame the instructor was no good, people, of course he's not gonna tell you step-by-step how to get rich, if he knew how he wouldn't be teaching).

reminds of the time when i was teaching back in college (former academic life). there was this guy who i was teaching who i attended class with back in my freshman year! it was surreal, he was the only guy who called me by my first name :-D

yet another tv rant

2006-03-11T11:13:00.000-08:00

why are black and white egyptian movies so cheesy? since our livingroom tv is fixed on rotana um-kalthoom and rotana cheesy-movies i have to hear that crap all the time (its turned up so loud you can hear it around the house).

i have a lactose intolerant reflex whenever that crap comes on. from the cartoon like background music to the stupid "humor" to the love story between the plantation owners who have poor farmers working for them. ohhh... and if its a musical thats just a double whammy especially if its a super classic crappy movie with um-kalthoom in the lead role.

just because it's old doesn't mean its any good. bad movies are bad movies i don't care if people were more civilized back then and (i quote) "had real class". i really don't want to see that stupid guy who looks like ben stiller jumping around like a monkey with "hilarious" background cartoon music. i don't find the final embrace between um-kalthoom and the rich plantation owner's son at the end romantic. i don't think its brilliant that they replace "the end" with "the beginning" at the end. these movies can be lost, it wouldn't be a terrible loss to humanity.

something for everyone

2006-03-09T10:34:00.000-08:00

for the karma weirdos out there
why is it i only get sick when i have something i really want to do? i very rarely get sick, but when i do its always when there's something important to do or somewhere important to go. even my immune system is reclusive.

for the careful readers out there
things have been hectic the past couple weeks dealing with the stock market crash. long hours trying to figure out how far its going to go and more importantly when its going to rebound. now is the time to go back in ;-)

for the cold hearted out there
another guy came to the office a couple days ago asking for bus fare to take him back to god knows where. these guys are getting crafty trying to work in the religious sympathy angle, he even asked where the masjid was because he wanted to pray in congregation before he left. lucky for him i wasn't the person who met him at the door.

for the patriotic out there
i like it when i see local guys working at service oriented jobs and doing really well. it makes me feel proud that we are becoming a well rounded society where no job is belittled (and eventually no person will be belittled). however, last week i saw this new guy working at the starbucks branch i frequent. all the guys before him have been great. this guy was sitting reading the newspaper and complaining that he's still sleepy.

for the lovestruck out there
nothing in life thats worth striving for is easy. anything worth having requires work. whatever comes easy will be lost easily.

what would you do if you were filthy rich?

2006-02-24T08:14:00.000-08:00

the assholes are at it again

i know exactly what i would do if i was mega rich. i would get a small island in the middle of the ocean, go around the world and recruit the best mercenaries and train them to do god's work on earth.

i would go around hunt down, locate and takeout every single terrorists', mentors, parents, siblings, close family, friends and supporters. i would then post pictures of their horribly mutilated bodies on the internet. i want them to feel what pain and punishment is in this life before they get their well deserved reward in the afterlife.

all of the people in my previous list are guilty and need eradication. sorry but im no pussy who believes they are misguided individuals who need "reaching out" and need to be "re-educated", reaching out is with a hatchet to the throat and nothing beats live grenades stuffed up their asses for education. they are pure evil on this earth and need brutal killing plain and simple.

removed by special request

suntop and suncola

2006-01-29T13:58:00.000-08:00

since i live in my own little world, i'm really not aware of much stuff that doesn't affect me personally. but what i've heard is that some danish newspaper published blasphemous caricatures about our prophet peace be upon him and neither the newspaper or the government will apologize.

now i'm sure they're pulling the free speech card on this issue and they claim that caricatures are satirical of all people. i'm a keen observer of caricatures and while its pretty much anything goes, religious symbols are always off limits. offending 1/6th of the worlds population isn't the smartest thing to do. ok you get some notoriety and sell a couple dozen more issues then what? does the world just really need more hate? ok so maybe moslems are currently the worst people on this earth, look at these peoples' history and understand that they would've been infinitely worse if it weren't for this religion. im just disappointed by the whole thing, i don't think its some zionist conspiracy either, its most likely just a stupid idea by an editor who ended up getting much more than he bargained for.

lets talk about money

2006-01-23T14:36:00.000-08:00

instead of talking about my personal life or some work mishap i thought i would talk about what i actually do for a living, namely economic research. the local stock market is now the preferred vehicle for everyone who wants to get rich quickly. unfortunately most of the day traders are just buying and selling junk stocks like theres no tomorrow. i've overheard teenagers and goat herders discussing stock prices, something is seriously wrong. for example, there is one company which has not made any profits, really has no serious business plan, yet is now trading at more than 17,000 times its actual value. People be careful, the market is overheating and will soon adjust and all of these hyper-overvalued stocks will come crashing down and so will all your invested money.

guess who's back?

2006-01-15T13:39:00.000-08:00

cultural interlude

2005-12-26T14:25:00.000-08:00

the firm i work at is wholly owned by a very prominent local family. what this means is that in addition to our core business, a lot of "domestic business" is done as well on behalf of the family. you see all sorts of people around the office, family members, domestic help, personal contractors etc.

so i really get to see lots of weird stuff, but today, this guy came in who absolutely took the cake. he looked as if he was in his 80's and straight from a tent out of nowhere. when i saw him sitting quietly at the front desk, i just knew this was gonna be good, and oh man did he deliver! when my boss came out to see what he wanted, he stood up, and broke out reciting bedouin-style madee7 poetry about the family at the top of his lungs. needless to say, a check was quickly written and out the door he went. too bad, he was providing some much needed entertainment at the end of a long day.

but ed, who is hgf?

2005-12-19T15:32:00.000-08:00

so me and hgf (the hottie across from me) were sitting one morning discussing local life and all its peculiarities. for example, if a store has a sign on it saying "almi7al liltaqbeel" that is really in your face decadence, "this place is for kissing". if a place has the infamous "lil3a2lat faqa9" sign, why are single women allowed? why not just flat out say "no unescorted men under 40 allowed"? or my recent favorite "alvilla walar'6 lilbai3 ma3an" i mean everyone buys either the house or land separately. is it not making buying that much more restrictive?

do not act like this!

2005-12-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

i've been assigned the task of helping to recruit new college grads, one method is directly calling them and doing initial screening interviews. today i called this fella:

ed: hi! my name is ed and i'm from xyz company we are looking for new grads to join our team, we work in economic research.. blah blah
fella: i'm a computer science major, shouldn't you be looking for other more suitable majors?
ed: *really buddy?* we need people with technical backgrounds.. blah blah
fella: i currently have a temporary job, are you going to schedule an interview with me?
ed: *not by the looks of it* are you interested in working in the financial research field?
fella: i dont know.. what would my job title be?
ed: *relax fella* what was your gpa in college?
fella: two point zero zero out of four
ed: *lowest possible graduation gpa and spent 7 years in college* ummm ok then.. we'll call you..
fella: i know this is premature, but what is the starting basic salary?
ed: *wrap up the call NOW* that's for my boss to decide, we'll call you ok?

ok, now the goal isn't to ridicule this guy, but to point out that this is not the sort of stuff you should be saying to a recruiter.

quiz for parents

2005-12-11T14:20:00.000-08:00

if you're a parent of a first born male child then please take the following quiz:

are you asian or african in descent?
has your first born not lived up to his potential?
has your first born simply been a disapointment?
has your first born had a bad influence on his younger siblings?
is your first born always doing the wrong thing or not doing the right thing?
is your first born stubborn as hell and will not follow every single one of your commandments?
was your first born supposed to proudly carry on the family name?
was your first born more of an experiment in parenting?
does your first born not idolize you?
does your first born just make you sick?

if you answered 5 or more as "yes" then please for the love of god, just dispose of that first born and get them out of their misery. they'll be happy and you'll be happy. you brought them into this world, they had no say in the matter, and you can sure take them out without their permission.

office with a view

2005-12-07T08:48:00.000-08:00

p**** power

sorry for the derogatory term but there's no better way to put it. banks always send saleswomen to my office building peddling all sorts of bank services loans, credit cards you name it. resoning is who would say no to a couple of chicks in their early 20's trying to sell you something? today they came by offering credit cards, it was during our lunch hour so i left immediately, leaving my hapless officemate all alone with them. oh man, he's probably gonna be paying off a credit card bill for the next 200 years.
city under siege

my fair city is a militarized zone. all the major intersections are blocked and policemen wearing bullet proof vests touting machine guns and driving around in suburbans with blacked out windows are everywhere, i even saw military helicopters hovering around. reason? some islamic world conference thinamagig. why does it have to be held here? have it in makkah, cant do that? have it in some small town where it doesn't matter if their entire life is brought to a standstill for days. i suggest taif :-D
something on my mind

i want something worth spending my money on.

letter of appreciation

2005-11-27T14:19:00.000-08:00

dear kacst isu overlords,

thank you for your efforts in keeping our minds pure and thoughts virtuous. our blessed land would not be blessed were it not for your relentless pursuit of going around the web and blocking naughty sites. were it not for you we would not be able to sleep at night with our doors unlocked, we would not be able to drink tap water without getting kidney stones nor would we be able to walk the streets wearing assless pants in total safety.

thank you for removing blogspot from your naughty list, i'm sure it will go back soon enough. please don't expect me to request that it be returned, because frankly i could care less and i don't want to contribute to your megalomania. may i suggest that in the future you just block everything under http://. and put us out of our misery. i'm sure when that happens birds will start singing again, rainbows will shine brightly once more, and peace, prosperity and goodwill among mankind will spread the earth.

hugs and kisses,

ed

2005-11-25T05:05:00.000-08:00

those deep sighs, the ones that seem to come from the bottom of your heart. why do people think it means that you're in love and thinking of your special someone? why can't it mean that you're just fatigued and tired of everything around you? when you cant get to sleep because of the insomnia, cant stay asleep because of the apnea. every activity develops a masochistic tone to it. you get in a car hoping you'll crash. you hope the building you're in will collapse. hell, you'd even be happy with a stray meteorite taking you out. your pitiful existence is totally useless, in fact other people's lives might actually improve if it wasn't for you. everything hurts, life is nothing more than a sequence of painful events tied together with less painful events. so no, its not *heart* *heart*.

my needs

2005-11-18T11:28:00.000-08:00

i need to talk to sane people
upon running out of contact lenses i go to the neighborhood "glasses shop". i ask for acuvue lenses in my prescription, after rummaging around for a bit, he announces they're not available *but* they have this other generic brand which is better than acuvue because "they're bigger".

i need a break
my boss is a great guy, but he has this habit of calling me an hour before work is over, conversation goes along these lines:
boss: ed, remember that so and so project you were working on last month?
ed: um yeah *oh god, not that project, it took days just to process the input*
boss: could you please update it, we need to present it to higher management tomorrow morning
ed: sure thing *this has all-nighter written all over it*

i need temporary asylum saturday night
a post-it stuck to the living room tv announces that there is a layla mourad special on rotana zaman this saturday evening. last time that happened the house shook from the volume being raised so loud.

this is for eating that stinky food in the office

2005-11-16T12:54:00.000-08:00

i found the perfect background for my office computer:

my conspiracy theory (america is behind it all.. blah blah) office mate will love it! bwahaha.. dont forget to check out the plane's registration ;)

ever get that feeling?

2005-11-15T14:19:00.000-08:00

ever get that feeling where it seems as if you have become too complacent, too boring, too integrated into the "establishment".. you feel that you need to do something totally out of the ordinary, something exciting and unique in order to prove to yourself that you are living and not just surviving? hmmmm..

newest member of the wto

2005-11-11T14:30:00.000-08:00

i thought i would never see the day, saudi arabia being accepted as a member of the wto! this really means that local industry has to shape up or go bust. i like it, to be world class you have to compete with the world's best. closed protectionist economies are a thing of the past. lousy services that survived simply because they were guaranteed protection will hopefully be the first to go.

while all the world's wto protesters were complaining about the possibility of lost jobs and poor working conditions due to to cut throat competition (which are very real and legitimate concerns). our folks out here, namely the holymen were concerned about losing our cultural identity, i mean next thing you know, prostitutes will walk the streets and booze will flow freely. yeah right. i love how growing a beard and wearing short clothes allows you to become an expert on everything.. much more about this later.

5 questions that need answering

2005-11-10T15:33:00.000-08:00

i have some questions.. maybe interesting, maybe stupid, maybe just plain rambo.. but they all need answering so here you go..

who killed the term non-profit?
organizations used to be known as non-profit, now they are all not-for-profit, although probably more accurate it doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

what is wrong with the world today?
chickens have the flu, cows are raging mad, sheep have west nile disease and vegetables are covered in toxic pesticides. if that doesn't get you then watch out for a tsunami, hurricane or earthquake. if that doesn't get you then watch out for some wacko with a deathwish trying to declare holy war on you.

where did all the pagers go?
until very recently almost every single person (except me of course :P) carried around a pager. although they were truly useless devices except in very limited circumstances, their total disappearance is quite mystifying.

why would anyone in their right mind eat sushi in saudi arabia?
i don't care if it's in a 5-star hotel or the priciest restaurant in town, we have extreme climatic conditions, extreme incompetence in enforcing hygienic standards, and no accountability towards restaurants or chefs. you are just asking for trouble!

how can you sit on a public toilet seat without looking?
the guy who sued bestbuy because someone put superglue on the toilet seat and he got stuck. dude if you see a clear gel-like substance anywhere in a mens public bathroom you should run out screaming.

can you spot the hidden post?

2005-11-09T03:55:00.000-08:00

you gotta love local music stores, not only is there this 6-9 month lag behind the rest of the world, but they also hold on to their merchandise for years and years. this is good news for 90's music fans like myself who are part of the statistically insignificant minority that actually buy original music cds.

one of my favorite tracks of all time is "hey jealousy" by the gin blossoms, hearing it takes me back to my college days listening to studio one fm while working on problem sets. it had this depressing yet optimistic vibe to it, which really summed up my mood around that time:

Tell me do you think it'd be alright
If I could Just crash here tonight
As you see I'm in no shape for drivin'
And any way I 've got no place to go
And you know it might not be that bad
You were the best I ever had
I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago
I might not be alone
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take it's place
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
You can trust me not to drink
And not to sleep around
And if you don't expect too much from me
You might not be let down
Cos all I really want's to be with you
And feel like I matter too
If I didn't blow the whole thing years ago
I might be here with you
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take it's place
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take it's place
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy
Listen to my heart
There's only one thing I can start

you meet the most interesting people

2005-11-08T13:02:00.000-08:00

i work in an office building located in a really affluent part of town. what that means is that everyone thinks you're totally loaded whenever you're seen in or around the neighborhood. following true examples:

i exit the building and some middle aged guy approaches me, shakes my hand (really hate that) tells me he has a degree in commerce and asks if i can give him a job or if he can get a job with my dad. *yeah, lemme make some phonecalls*
once again i leave the building at 1:30am (hence the short fuse) and two guys approach me, shake hands (uggggh!) and ask for a handout. i give them the standard reply (allah kareem) but they keep nagging (newbies) after the third time i finally yell at them to go away.
today i'm crossing the parking lot and this girl (mid 20's) is on the other side. i keep changing directions to avoid the inevitable, but she's totally homed in. "brother, i am sick could you please help me" *since you are "sick", thank you for not trying to shake my hand, now go away*

hell froze over

2005-11-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

i totally sold out and got a cell phone. i am now infinitesimally closer to being a stereotypical saudi dude. the thing is, i am at work for most of the day and i'm really reluctant to use the office phone for non-work related calls. also i reached my "phone-buy" criteria of having three people i actually want to talk to (hopefully they'll occasionaly reply), it gets sadder and more pathetic too (if thats possible).. none of those three people are even within a thousand miles of where i live :P