Monday, December 26, 2005

cultural interlude

the firm i work at is wholly owned by a very prominent local family. what this means is that in addition to our core business, a lot of "domestic business" is done as well on behalf of the family. you see all sorts of people around the office, family members, domestic help, personal contractors etc.

so i really get to see lots of weird stuff, but today, this guy came in who absolutely took the cake. he looked as if he was in his 80's and straight from a tent out of nowhere. when i saw him sitting quietly at the front desk, i just knew this was gonna be good, and oh man did he deliver! when my boss came out to see what he wanted, he stood up, and broke out reciting bedouin-style madee7 poetry about the family at the top of his lungs. needless to say, a check was quickly written and out the door he went. too bad, he was providing some much needed entertainment at the end of a long day.

Monday, December 19, 2005

but ed, who is hgf?

so me and hgf (the hottie across from me) were sitting one morning discussing local life and all its peculiarities. for example, if a store has a sign on it saying "almi7al liltaqbeel" that is really in your face decadence, "this place is for kissing". if a place has the infamous "lil3a2lat faqa9" sign, why are single women allowed? why not just flat out say "no unescorted men under 40 allowed"? or my recent favorite "alvilla walar'6 lilbai3 ma3an" i mean everyone buys either the house or land separately. is it not making buying that much more restrictive?

Monday, December 12, 2005

do not act like this!

i've been assigned the task of helping to recruit new college grads, one method is directly calling them and doing initial screening interviews. today i called this fella:

ed: hi! my name is ed and i'm from xyz company we are looking for new grads to join our team, we work in economic research.. blah blah
fella: i'm a computer science major, shouldn't you be looking for other more suitable majors?
ed: *really buddy?* we need people with technical backgrounds.. blah blah
fella: i currently have a temporary job, are you going to schedule an interview with me?
ed: *not by the looks of it* are you interested in working in the financial research field?
fella: i dont know.. what would my job title be?
ed: *relax fella* what was your gpa in college?
fella: two point zero zero out of four
ed: *lowest possible graduation gpa and spent 7 years in college* ummm ok then.. we'll call you..
fella: i know this is premature, but what is the starting basic salary?
ed: *wrap up the call NOW* that's for my boss to decide, we'll call you ok?

ok, now the goal isn't to ridicule this guy, but to point out that this is not the sort of stuff you should be saying to a recruiter.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

quiz for parents

if you're a parent of a first born male child then please take the following quiz:
  1. are you asian or african in descent?
  2. has your first born not lived up to his potential?
  3. has your first born simply been a disapointment?
  4. has your first born had a bad influence on his younger siblings?
  5. is your first born always doing the wrong thing or not doing the right thing?
  6. is your first born stubborn as hell and will not follow every single one of your commandments?
  7. was your first born supposed to proudly carry on the family name?
  8. was your first born more of an experiment in parenting?
  9. does your first born not idolize you?
  10. does your first born just make you sick?

if you answered 5 or more as "yes" then please for the love of god, just dispose of that first born and get them out of their misery. they'll be happy and you'll be happy. you brought them into this world, they had no say in the matter, and you can sure take them out without their permission.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

office with a view

  1. p**** power

    sorry for the derogatory term but there's no better way to put it. banks always send saleswomen to my office building peddling all sorts of bank services loans, credit cards you name it. resoning is who would say no to a couple of chicks in their early 20's trying to sell you something? today they came by offering credit cards, it was during our lunch hour so i left immediately, leaving my hapless officemate all alone with them. oh man, he's probably gonna be paying off a credit card bill for the next 200 years.

  2. city under siege

    my fair city is a militarized zone. all the major intersections are blocked and policemen wearing bullet proof vests touting machine guns and driving around in suburbans with blacked out windows are everywhere, i even saw military helicopters hovering around. reason? some islamic world conference thinamagig. why does it have to be held here? have it in makkah, cant do that? have it in some small town where it doesn't matter if their entire life is brought to a standstill for days. i suggest taif :-D

  3. something on my mind

    i want something worth spending my money on.